How do I work with Neurodivergence and why is it different?

Have you been diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) or think you might be Neurodivergent? Have you had therapy before, but felt it's missed the mark, or not been helpful in addressing or understanding all the parts that make up YOU?

Then this post is for you..

There is no one size fits all in therapy, but for those who are Neurodivergent, it is vital that we look at things through a neurodivergent lens.

In traditional therapy we are often looking at ways to process uncomfortable feelings or aiming for change and challenging parts of yourself.

But what happens when this expectation of change doesn’t occur? It might feel distressing or traumatic, or it might make you feel like something is ‘wrong’ with you. In fact, many late-diagnosed or late-realising ND’ers have experienced Trauma due to trying to conform or be judged by Neurotypical societal standards.

So, by looking at therapy through an ND lens, we work on ways to explore, understand and accept the very natural and human aspects of yourself, which in turn increases self-esteem and promotes positive mental health and a more regulated nervous system.

1 in 7 people in the UK are neurodivergent…

and that number is likely to be much higher when we consider those awaiting assessment and those that are self-realising or unaware.

It’s estimated that in March 2025, there were 224,382 people with an open referral for suspected Autism and 549,000 awaiting assessments for ADHD, the waiting lists are long and the support available post diagnosis can leave a lot to be desired.

So, how might we work together?

The first thing I’d like to say is that I am not an ADHD or ND Coach, I won’t be advising on how to be more organised or focussed, or suggesting you buy a new planner that will ‘fix’ all the difficulties you are facing.

What I will do, is work with you to truly understand, accept and show compassion for the ways in which your neurodivergence shows up for you.

I want to know how YOU experience the world, and what you need to feel safe within it.

It’s often thought that Neurodivergence is a linear spectrum, more or less severe, high or low support needs. But what we’ll find is that it is more like a pie chart, with some aspects of ND traits impacting you more than others, at different times and stages of life, and this will look different for everyone.

We might explore the different parts that make up your ND profile, termed the ‘Spiky Profile’. We’d work together to understand aspects of your sensory, interoceptive and proprioceptive profiles, emotional regulation, executive function, looking for the things that cause dysregulation as well as the things that promote regulation and increased wellbeing. Through this work, we’ll create your very own regulation toolkit that is suited and adaptable to your needs.

If we work on acceptance and regulation, rather than ‘fixes’, what we’ll find is that you may start to become aware of, and avoid, that burnout cycle. You might learn to feel safety in unmasking in places and with people that you feel comfortable with or explore what that might feel like.  You might find that you have some answers for the trauma and dysregulation you feel in your body but don’t quite understand, having had to grow in a Neurotypically designed world with a Neurodivergent brain.

If this sounds like something that you might be interested in, or you have any questions about how we might work together, please get in touch using the contact me page and we can chat through what therapy could look like for you.